As my zulu starts to get better I find that I can pick up pieces of conversation. It is not always helpful to catch small pieces because I often get the whole context of the conversation wrong. However, sometimes I do catch a tidbit that is helpful and it opens up some great connections. One such time where my zulu helped was at our 2013 sewing graduation. Every year to celebrate the hard work of our sewing students, we honour them with a delicious lunch and a certificate presentation. This year, the ladies (above) were especially appreciative of the lunch. One older lady, Dudu, kept shaking her head in amazement as she ate her chicken stew. Then she listed all the gifts Seed of Hope had given her this year in the form of everything she had learned: How to cut fabric; lay out patterns; use a sewing machine; make different items. She went on listing all these “gifts” and then in a rousing conclusion she uttered, and now we are given this amazing lunch! She was relishing every moment.

I began to ask around the table (in my stilted zulu) about their families, how many children they had, and about their husbands. Everytime I got to a question about her husband, one woman would look to the other and chuckle. I was intrigued. In the midst of my zulu questions, there was a tonne of other conversation going on in rapid zulu and I kept picking up, “Amadoda bayabaleka!” I knew the word for men, amadoda. I knew the word bayabaleka means, “they run away.” I began to piece the puzzle together. They were talking about the men in their lives running away. It turns out that almost none of the women at that table had a husband or partner who had stayed with them. It seemed almost like the women had identified a syndrome that was affecting many of the men in the community… the Amadoda Bayabaleka syndrome.

Then I begin to wonder how these women cope with their many responsibilities. They have children to provide for, a home, and they are unemployed. Their husband has run away to another woman or family. In the midst of that upheaval, each one of them has taken the brave step to learn a new skill and use that to become self sufficient. I was truly inspired by them especially Dudu, who showed so much thankfulness and appreciation.

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Until then it is a current reality and a story with no ending at this point!

KW