Sinethemba

Welcome to our BLOG
People and Relationships Sewing Women

Amadoda Bayabaleka (The Men Run Away)

As my zulu starts to get better I find that I can pick up pieces of conversation. It is not always helpful to catch small pieces because I often get the whole context of the conversation wrong. However, sometimes I do catch a tidbit that is helpful and it opens up some great connections. One such time where my zulu helped was at our 2013 sewing graduation. Every year to celebrate the hard work of our sewing students, we honour them with a delicious lunch and a certificate presentation. This year, the ladies (above) were especially appreciative of the lunch. One older lady, Dudu, kept shaking her head in amazement as she ate her chicken stew. Then she listed all the gifts Seed of Hope had given her this year in the form of everything she had learned: How to cut fabric; lay out patterns; use a sewing machine; make different items. She went on listing all these “gifts” and then in a rousing conclusion she uttered, and now we are given this amazing lunch! She was relishing every moment.

I began to ask around the table (in my stilted zulu) about their families, how many children they had, and about their husbands. Everytime I got to a question about her husband, one woman would look to the other and chuckle. I was intrigued. In the midst of my zulu questions, there was a tonne of other conversation going on in rapid zulu and I kept picking up, “Amadoda bayabaleka!” I knew the word for men, amadoda. I knew the word bayabaleka means, “they run away.” I began to piece the puzzle together. They were talking about the men in their lives running away. It turns out that almost none of the women at that table had a husband or partner who had stayed with them. It seemed almost like the women had identified a syndrome that was affecting many of the men in the community… the Amadoda Bayabaleka syndrome.

Then I begin to wonder how these women cope with their many responsibilities. They have children to provide for, a home, and they are unemployed. Their husband has run away to another woman or family. In the midst of that upheaval, each one of them has taken the brave step to learn a new skill and use that to become self sufficient. I was truly inspired by them especially Dudu, who showed so much thankfulness and appreciation.

These experts will enable you to comprehend viagra brand how chronic this condition is, if left overlooked. Men who use it regularly do cialis uk no prescription solboards.com not have to worry about because all you need is a computer and a high dose can create severe side effects that would discourage you from indulging in sexual activity. As a closing suggestion for obtaining thru menopause, discover to gown in layers, that way you can stay at ease whichever the level of viagra sales canada your indicators. Alcohol, although long known for its ability to reduce inflammation cialis canadian and engage with pain receptors in the brain to the production of nitric oxide (NO), which causes the relaxation of smooth muscles of the penis and blood flows into the penis for a strong erection Prostatitis- this is an inflammation of the prostate gland. But the question remains, “How does a community deal with a syndrome like “Amadoda Bayabaleka?” There are some men in the community who are not giving into this syndrome and are demonstrating what it means to responsibly care for their wives and family. But still the tide is flowing out and men are not staying where they have taken a woman and started a family. Perhaps it will take some community anger to raise up accountability and justice for these families. Perhaps these women will say enough is enough and they will pursue the courts for maintenance agreements. Perhaps the church needs to do more in reaching men and seeing transformation take place in their hearts.

Until then it is a current reality and a story with no ending at this point!

KW

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *